Alot of people don't/can't/won't understand me. That is why I am here...on Blogger...hoping to explain some things going on inside of me. Lupus is an unforgiving illness, but I am to be a forgiving recipient although at times it is very difficult.
I want my family - my husband, kids, parents, cousins, friends - to learn about this ugly illness and how it has changed me as a person. Not to sound morbid, but I want my kids to look over these ramblings someday so maybe, just maybe they'll understand a little more about why I did "this" or "that" and why I didn't. One has to be in these shoes to know. One has to feel the physical pain as well as the emotional pain felt my me and my fellow "Lupies." I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, nor am I whining. I just want my story to be heard by people that care about me.
Initially, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia around 2006. Then, as my lab work indicated, I was sent to a rheumatologist for suspected RA (rheumatoid arthritis). More tests led them to believe it was more Lupus instead of RA. Now, they say I have all of these things and more...Mixed Connective Tissue Disease would be my latest ailment. It is what it is, right? I'll explain as I blog about each individual syndrome as this blog progresses. I think in order for others to know the real me, they should know about my life and the quality to which I live.
I suppose I should at least introduce myself now. My name is Karen. I'm 43 (until April), married to my best friend - the man that can make me laugh when no one else can even make me smile. I have a son, almost 20, and a daughter, 16. I have two step-sons that feel more like my own (flesh and blood), aged 23 and 19. No wonder I have been stressed lately!
I used to work at a local community college doing a job I LOVED, butas my illness progressed, I was no longer able to work. It was hard to leave, but really I had no choice. I'm not sure how I worked as long as I did. But, as much as I loved the work I did, the stress of some around me ended up causing my 'breakdown.' I think some people were glad to see me leave....but that's another story.
Ok, now that I've started this, I hope and pray I can do this on a regular basis. I need to use this as my haven, my place to vent, and my outlet of things I've kept inside for too long. This will be boring for most people, I supposse, but I'm not doing this for them. It's for my family and for my own sanity. Thanks for reading.
Til next time,
K.
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